Size: 80 x 60 x 4 cm
Materials: oil on canvas
Date: 2020
£750.00
1 in stock
Size: 80 x 60 x 4 cm
Materials: oil on canvas
Date: 2020
1 in stock
These roses were given to my mum for her bereavement, they were from a group of mothers from my younger sister’s old school. I sat looking at them for the duration of their life when I was sat at home with my mum in the living room. They were the most beautiful roses I have ever seen and I know this painting does not do them any sort of justice. They did their job though and brought us peace and comfort. I made my roses weep, to express how I feel about my father passing away.
I’m trying to tell you why I’m not ok
I’m not fine, I’m lost
I’ve descended into a bath of emotion
Though surrounded by love and feeling in the fold
I still need more time with my silence
There is too much going on
I’m not ready for more of this life
I need to process my loss first
An ending – yes
My father is dead
He thought he would recover
To be young and agile again
Without changing anything
His decline took just over a year
He was a bit of a legend
His frailty indicated his demise
When others refused to see
I indulged him completely
He never knew the animosity I felt for him
I just kept right on bestowing my love
I pine to be with my husband and mum
Our intimacy is like a wee faceted gemstone
That we marvel at and cherish
The grief brought this gift
His heart failure was peaceful
I wake up at night
I think of my mum on her own
Her loss is worse than mine
Her loss is what tears me apart
There’s nothing I can do
I have tried though
I did all my dads jobs
I kept my mum company
I eased her into her new life, slowly
Gently telling her it’s ok to be alone
Broaching the subject
Makes me crack wide open – vulnerable
Like my allegiance to God is leaking raw spirit
You can take advantage – or not
I have no choice, I’m changed
The shock is surreal
It lays white in my belly
Remembering his dignified corpse helps
He’s definitely gone
I saw him lowered deep into the ground
When it’s my turn to go
I to want to go into the earth
My carcass will nourish another
Like I have taken flesh into me
I want to be eaten
The End
Weight | 3 kg |
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Dimensions | 110 × 20 × 90 cm |
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